fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
