Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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