do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize