JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Sorry about my life...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
