I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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