he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
