everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
