Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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