I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
All I want is dick and wine.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
