sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
