her vagine was all disorganized.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
