OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Randomize