I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
