yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
