We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
