I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
