Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
