i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
