A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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