If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize