So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
