i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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