like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
