im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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