I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
