my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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