I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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