Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
