I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
