Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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