Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
