she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
