I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize