A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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