you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just gift wrapped bread.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
