U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Randomize
