if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I think people are normalizing furries
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
try to milk me bitch
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
