I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
