I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My breasts were aching with rage.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
