There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
