i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
