we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
