she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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