My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
