Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
