I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
