i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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