So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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