then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
