so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
They are going to name an STD after you.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
Randomize
