I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
