I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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