i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
she woke up with a sticky ear
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
