im drinking this country out of the recession.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
