so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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