Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Randomize
