The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
