I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
